new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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