So drunk its hurt
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
