just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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