He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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