So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize