p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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