My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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