Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
