When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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