i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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