ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
