I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
