so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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