Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
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