just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize