is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
