if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm having to shit out rocks
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
