Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
