i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
