So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
