please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
