That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
