I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Text me some of your sweat
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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