Sry I called you an 8
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
