Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I woke up under a house in Key West
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