I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
