i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
