yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
