My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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