He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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