Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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