If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
