You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
