I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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