I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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