i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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