Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
