Me too!
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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