just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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