my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
