He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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