A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Randomize
