i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
