I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
