I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
