Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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