when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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