She's like a pop up book from hell.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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