so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
