so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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