I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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