My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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