Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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