don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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