apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
