I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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