so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize