I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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