I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
