I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
