Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
