I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
