Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
