just come out here and I will go home with you...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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