I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I have fence marks all over my body
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
